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The Return of the Wild Knishes

European environmental groups have been surprised recently by reports of a resurgence of wild knish sightings in Eastern Europe. The knish, once a far ranging animal in Eastern Europe was domesticated in the late middle ages. Wild knishes are reportedly dangerous, especially when cornered. The domesticated knish, however, is a docile creature, good with children and sour cream.

The last reported wild knish hunt was the Great Knish massacre of 1914 at Konopiste in Bohemia involving the Archduke Ferdinand and Kaiser Wilhelm. The knish has not been seen wild in Eastern Europe since World War Two, like the once numerous wild Gefilte fish (See the Legend of the Mighty Gefilte - Recent fears of "Mad Knish" disease have hurt this once-thriving industry. Most knishes nowadays are raised in the US, although food critics claim the American breeds lack the flavor, vitality and personality of their East European counterparts.

In related news, attempts are being made to reintroduce herds of wild Matzo to the plains of Israel. Once numerous in the middle East, the Matzo has not been seen in the wilds in large numbers for nearly 2,000 years. The recent popularity of "Mount Zion Oysters" (Matzoh Balls) has led to increasing demand for this now domesticated animal.

Posted by Maxine Wolfson